swtascandy411 (swtascandy411) wrote,
swtascandy411
swtascandy411

  • Mood:
  • Music:

yay

ok things are looking better crystel said someday in the far off future she might trust me again. but now im scared this is soo retarded that she should have to go threw this , anyone but her should have to go threw this and its all nathan and kk's fault i really want to kill myself if i wasnt such a sissy and if it didnt hurt so much i would,but im scared i dont know if crystel can or noti know shes at the same point i am but i think she doesnt see herself getting out of this. i couldnt do this or handle anything if she did. i love her soo much and im soo depressed that i of all people brought this upon her. when of all ppl i should know i could trust no one. i feel like such a failure and i care so much for her. idk what i would do if she hurt herself. and its not even copletely my fault the only thing that is my doing is trusting ppl i shouldnt have.well i know now. i just cant believe this is happening, in the past ive gone cray and done stupid things when i felt ppl were trying to control my life and its happening again i just dont know whats next, if i wasnt afraid of blood i would cut myself, and if i wasnt afraid of dying i would take my dad's automatic or my brothers riffle. but lucky for whoever cares i cant do it, and hanging myself would take to long 4 minutes without air. so idk im just tierd of ppl not listening to me and saying they want to help and that i can trust them and then have everyone gang up against me and talk soo much shit and then bold face , bull shit lie to my face. ppl are gay. i just pray that crystel doesnt have th courage to kill herself and i wish i did.~ginny
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 6 comments
I'm glad to hear that you won't kill yourself. Suicide is the pansy's way out and you ,my friend, are not a pansy at all. If you did commit suicide I don't know what I would do. All the memories we had together would be burned and broken, and the thought of you just disapearing like that would be more than I could bear. Ginny, I know this is a difficult time for you and I wish everything wasn't like it is. I pray everyday that it will just be over with soon, without any casualties. this whole Junk Fest is retarded and stupid and everyone should just get over themselves. Carly thinks you've been talking bad about her,and so does some other people. It's just all a misunderstanding and we will work it out together, Ginny. I'm still trying to solve things myself, i'm in a neutral position where I don't know who or what to believe. Whatever happens though, I want you to know that I love you and always will, even if something bad happens or something good, I will always love you. I'm a forgive and forget kind of person, there's point in living life holding regrets and grudges, life's just too short for that. So if you ever need someone to talk to or to cry with, whatever, I'm here, through thick and thin, I'm here for you. Suicide is a natural human triat. I've thought of it and almost went through with it, to the point where I was actually holding the knife a inch away from my body. My dad has almost done it too, just because to feel the desire of suicide doesn't mean everything is over and life has ended. Someone very wise told me that Jesus will never put more on you than you could bear, Sunlight will always shine after the storm.
Rebecca, you are so cool. <3
You really don't deserve this Ginny. You may have made your mistakes but so does everyone. You have clearly showed remorse and put your mistakes in the past and asked forgiveness for your mistakes; at least you sincerley apologized to me ^.^ for which I am thankful. I knew that Nathan was an asshole the moment you told me about him and its not fair that he had to enter a relationship with you and take advantage of you. Its not fair that he had to burn you so bad but what can I say: 99% of males are Dick-minded bastards. I hope things turn out good for you and Jeff lays offf but please don't get worked up about this to the point of suicide; there are too many people that care about you. You know you would permenantly tramatize Dani if you chose to hurt yourself and that would permenantly hurt me. I really sympasize with you and hope things turn out alright. I know how hard this hits home with Dani too. If things turn out for the worst it would hurt our realtionship as well and thats just not fair. Jeff and cheifly Nathan are going to destroy not only yourlife for the time but impede my relationship with Dani and hurt even more people. Its not fair that you two should be judged for the things you have already sealed with God and the people you respectibly needed to apologize to (for instance with you and Dani you apologized to me, and once again I thank you for that ^.^). You're loved by more people then you think and your life has effected too many peoples for the good for you to leave this world without hurting the people around you. I hope you stick this one out and make the right decesion and I hope Jeff does as well. BTW Jeff right now you are going to destroy peoples lifes relationships and marriages if you continue your current course of action. Maybe you think thats an exaggeration but its not. I know that if you pray and search God's will on this one he will show you what you should be doing. I pray everything turns out good for everyone...

~DANIEL~
Ginny I love you. I don't care what you say about me. I love you. I never stopped loving you and I never looked at you differently when you told me about all of this. However I did start to worry. I still am worried. Even if you tell me you've stopped these things and asked for forgiveness. I'm getting mixed things from everyone and I don't know what to believe anymore. Me and Sara were both so worried that we thought it would be best to tell Jeff. I don't care if you think that's wrong. I don't care if anyone thinks that that is wrong. I still stand by my decision. You shouldn't put all the blame on me, Jeff, and Nathan. Well...maybe Nathan...because I still don't know who to believe and he just freaks me out sometimes. As for the person above me. Daniel I believe. Please do not blame Jeff for any of the things that are going on now or that might happen. I'm sure that Jeff has prayed many times about this and I'm sure that God has shown him what to do. If God truly wants these relationships you speak of to work out, then they will work out. And neither Jeff or anyone else is going to be able to stop God's plan. So stop blaming everyone else, because that's selfish. Again Ginny, I love you so much and so does everyone else. We wouldn't have done this if we didn't love you and weren't worried. As for you and Crystel hating me. Feel free to continue. I've done a lot of praying in the last couple of days and I've come to the decision that if I have to lose you two as friends because I was worried and trying to help then that's fine. Well...it's not fine. I will be very sad for a very long time I'm sure, but if I do lose you it's ya'll's fault. You'll be losing one of the friends that truly does care and really wants to help. But again, that's your decision. I love you.
****I'm glad to hear that you won't kill yourself. Suicide is the pansy's way out and you ,my friend, are not a pansy at all. If you did commit suicide I don't know what I would do. All the memories we had together would be burned and broken, and the thought of you just disapearing like that would be more than I could bear. Ginny, I know this is a difficult time for you and I wish everything wasn't like it is. I pray everyday that it will just be over with soon, without any casualties. this whole Junk Fest is retarded and stupid and everyone should just get over themselves. Carly thinks you've been talking bad about her,and so does some other people. It's just all a misunderstanding and we will work it out together, Ginny. I'm still trying to solve things myself, i'm in a neutral position where I don't know who or what to believe. Whatever happens though, I want you to know that I love you and always will, even if something bad happens or something good, I will always love you. I'm a forgive and forget kind of person, there's no point in living life holding regrets and grudges, life's just too short for that. So if you ever need someone to talk to or to cry with, whatever, I'm here, through thick and thin, I'm here for you. Suicide is a natural human triat. I've thought of it and almost went through with it, to the point where I was actually holding the knife a inch away from my body. My dad has almost done it too, just because to feel the desire of suicide doesn't mean everything is over and life has ended. Someone very wise told me that Jesus will never put more on you than you could bear, Sunlight will always shine after the storm.****
OMGoODNeSs GINNY! killing ur self is crazy talk! it doesn't solve ne thing! it just causes more problems! ur family would be sad and all da friends that think ur all kool and sexy like would be upset and ya! and if u did ever go thriugh with it... ide use my powers to bring u back to life! then ide smack u for being so stupid!




*sigh* now that i think about it... i hate cheese... i really do! KILL DA CHEESE!



www.xanga.com/red_haired_hussy959