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Mine alllllllll MINE !!!!!!!!!!

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You are viewing the most recent 25 entries.

26th October 2004

7:32pm: sorry i havent been writing any posts lately but ive been sooo busy with alot of things later

16th September 2004

9:24pm: ahhhh
ahhh im going insane and i cant deal with all this crap anymore, this is happening to me not everyone else just a note .... TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!!!!!!!!
Current Mood: enraged

15th September 2004

9:33pm: OMG good news and bad news !
ok first since the bad news is soo bad but the good news is SOOOOOO GOOD im gonna say the bad first ok...
so both of my grandfathers are dead and have been but i just found out today a friend of the family who was closer then a dad to my mom and closer then a grandfather to me died last ngiht and my mom is dealing with it really badly so pray for her ..
and ... now .. to the main event ...mwa ahahahahahaha OK THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER , YOU KNOW HOW EVERYTHING HAS BEEN HAPPENING LATELY AND ITS BEEN HORRIBLE WELL I FOUND PROOF OMG THE GREATEST PROFF EVER , SOMETHING THAT WILL BACK UP EVERYTHING IVE BEEN SAYING, AND IS NATHAN DOESNT COME FORWARD AND TELL THE TRUTH I WILL SHOW IT TO EVERYONE JUST SO I CAN GET MY GOOD NAME BACK MWA AHAHAHAHAA , HE HAS BY SUNDAY THEN IM HOWING EVERYONE ... YES I WIN... I AM THE CLASS PREZ!!
Current Mood: enthralled

14th September 2004

8:12pm: ok so
ok so i was finally getting over everything but something happened that some of you dont know about. i called jeff to tell him i told my mom about the stealing wich didnt go bad. and he said that i have to tell her eveythign ive ever done wrong,dani,nathan and my friend. which is not fair only cux ppl thought i lied is why he wants me to tell my parents everything wich isnt fair cuz didnt do anything wrong and everyone else involved gets to keep there past to themselsves and im being forced to do somehting i dont agreee wth and its supier gay ~~~~KILLING AND I TOLD KK ONLY AT MY FUNERAL WILL I LET JEFF TELL MY PARENTS
Current Mood: enraged

12th September 2004

8:30pm: yay
ok things are looking better crystel said someday in the far off future she might trust me again. but now im scared this is soo retarded that she should have to go threw this , anyone but her should have to go threw this and its all nathan and kk's fault i really want to kill myself if i wasnt such a sissy and if it didnt hurt so much i would,but im scared i dont know if crystel can or noti know shes at the same point i am but i think she doesnt see herself getting out of this. i couldnt do this or handle anything if she did. i love her soo much and im soo depressed that i of all people brought this upon her. when of all ppl i should know i could trust no one. i feel like such a failure and i care so much for her. idk what i would do if she hurt herself. and its not even copletely my fault the only thing that is my doing is trusting ppl i shouldnt have.well i know now. i just cant believe this is happening, in the past ive gone cray and done stupid things when i felt ppl were trying to control my life and its happening again i just dont know whats next, if i wasnt afraid of blood i would cut myself, and if i wasnt afraid of dying i would take my dad's automatic or my brothers riffle. but lucky for whoever cares i cant do it, and hanging myself would take to long 4 minutes without air. so idk im just tierd of ppl not listening to me and saying they want to help and that i can trust them and then have everyone gang up against me and talk soo much shit and then bold face , bull shit lie to my face. ppl are gay. i just pray that crystel doesnt have th courage to kill herself and i wish i did.~ginny
Current Mood: theres no face for suicide
12:13pm: ok ..
ok so update sara its fabulous and understnads me . everyone is showing so much more effort on figuring this out and listening to me. yes i did lose crystel as a friend but she needed to hear it from me first. i still love her and im sorry but yah. so im working on my new hit list but i do love dani's song about nathan (its a comment on my other post) sooo great so yah ! i love soup !! yay!! anyway so yah still alot more to work out
Current Mood: crushed but i will survive

11th September 2004

7:24pm: okkk so now what???
ok so now i found out everyone i thought i could trust has not only lied about everything they told me and they talked about me together and planned on trying to come up with my demise. some of them are lying and full of shit. i talked to a phicology major and preposed the idea that a certain person might be trying to create this drama because previously this person was banned from a group of ppl and has no one else to hang out with (for some obvious reasons) so my theory is this person created all this drama to make themself "belong" to be apart of this group who tallks shit about me!!! and the person i told this too said it was probubly the reasons behind this. ok then i told someone else somethings because i felt she should know and cu i felt guilty about somethings that went down in the past(the things in the past had nothing to do with the previous person) and the person that i had told stuff about said if i even hinted stuff then she would not longer even talk to me. but i needed someone to talk to. so know everyone is mad and wont believe me but would rather believe this asshole who doest look like the person he really is and thats the only reason they dont believve me . so overall this is major bs and im completely hurt and betrayed and no one but rebecca has acctually listened and tryed to understand my point of view. and no one besides her has tryed to believe me. so now i have to either a) try and figure this out. b) get over it and never talk to any of them again and lose the remaining support and love and understanding i have left in my life. or c) ignore it and hope it will go away!!!
so right now i dont know what to do but im guessing no matter what none of them will believe anythign i tell them (even tho its the truth!!!) and no one will be my friend or love me anymore! AND ITS STUPID BECUZ ITS ALL OVER THIS HUGE MISTAKE OF TRUSTING AN ASSHOLE THANKX FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE BROUGHT INTO MY LIFE!!!! I HOPE YOU DIE ALONE(WICH HAPPENS TO BE YOUR FAMILY'S PATH) AND BECOME GAY BECUZ NO GIRL WILL EVER LIKE YOU AND IF SHE DOES THEN SHES A BASKETCASE!! FROM HERE ON OUT ANYGIRL THAT LIKES HIM HAS A SYMTOPM FROM ABOVE!! AND YOUR NOT WORTH THE SNAIL SHIT YOUR MADE OUT OF!!!
Current Mood: bitchy and hurt
4:24pm: hmm
ok so its been a whlile and everyone is yelling at me to post something new. so ya ive found out these are the ppl i cannot trust: nathan,karlee,jenna,kelsey w., and some of the chicks on the crew team! also im starting a new hit list the ppl on this list are the ones i feel i should .. shove and 12ft long oar up their butt the easy way twist it around then pull it out and shove it the hard way with the blade side then take a little oar and repeat so yes ... cough cough anyway so yah im working on changing some things and finding my "true" friends im tierd of ppl bs-ing and lying to me!! so yah and so blah i have alot of things to change ppl are just starting to piss me off !!
Current Mood: confused

1st September 2004

7:31pm: o .. m .... g
ever thing is crazy !!! more hurricanes i might go to miami with andrea hopefully i wont have to spend another week or two out of school and stuck in the same confinded area with my family. they will drive me crazy ! so ya loss of sensitivity is going pretty well we just need a few more members so ya! otherwise life is godd i just wish i could get more people to got with me and my posse to homecoming! im kinda happy i think im getting closer to that point in my life when im truly happy, i thought i was closer but then i took 1 step forward and about 5 back so hopefully everthing will work but ya! i just wish with everything i can that i could be truly satistfied hopefully ill find whatever it is im missing! and if i die becuz of the hurricane then i love you and you've impacted my life more then you know,just realize that!! ~~ much love ~~ ginny
oh P.S.- im sorry for everything
Current Mood: curious

25th August 2004

3:21pm: crew
yesturday i got rebecca to do crew ! yay!!! it was sooo hard !! im soo sore and so is everyone else ! so ya i had this dream about this guy and i showed him to her today and its the same guy she's ben in love with all year so far and he has like art with her ... grrrr ... i told her i'll get him before her and she said that he's cough cough her man hahahaha .. cough i mean right anyway so yah i will get him dark, percings not so alomst gothic depressed Chris from art and Nutrition he will be mine mwa hahahaha
Current Mood: bouncy

24th August 2004

10:04pm: ...
ok soo my entire journal ive talked really really bad about Dani's B/f and im sorry he was right , and now we get along !!! yaya and he was right about ChARLES and since DAni LoVES Him were all good now !!


p.s-pissing and moaning
p.s.s-i'll be Ninivah and he'll be JOnah
Current Mood: content
9:59pm: omg !
i have tryed to fix everything and make things right , with tiffer but now he's acting more immature then ever. sending horrible non true comments on my lj and being a total "dirk" about the whole situation. im sorry , ive said sorry sooo many times and if your not going to forgive me and be my friend then screw you and dont put comments on my livejournal i mean i know you will but it doesnt matter becuz i will just delete them the second i read them. Thats it IVE SAID MY PIECE ANF IVE SAID SORRY SO GROW UP AND GET OVER YOURSELF!!
Current Mood: pissed off

21st August 2004

8:52pm: ok soo ...
omg kk and rebecca r insane we r on the phone and they're reading my life out loud and in unison !! crazyness , ive been writing non stop and its cool !!! yay well im gonna go more to think about !!!
Current Mood: confused

19th August 2004

3:45pm: omg !! LoL
if you read thjoose last 2 posts i sound like bipolar or schiz !!!!
LOL
Current Mood: confused
3:34pm: on the flip side !!
on the total oppisite side i have been talking to this great guy named CHarles and well nathan but this is about CHARLES soo anyway ,he's soo great he makes me compfertable in my own skin ,he makes me feel sexy and wanted and smart and funny and special it's like perfect my friends have all noticed ive been acting weird soo ive just blamed it on nathan but they have no idea ...... i just love talking to him ,
i havent felt soo right since finding my best-friend "DANIelle" and thats a big deal to me !!!! he just gets me and ive got the new ashlee simpson cd and some of her songs descibe how i feel when im around him or talking to him !! here are some just so you might understand :::::
"BETTER OFF" .....but so what im better off every day
when im standing in the pouring rain
i dont mind
i think of you and everythings all right

i used to think i had it good
but now i know that im mis-understood
you would say
im better off in every way

my friends keep calling
they say (they say) im stalling
they wanna meet you now
i tell them hell no
i say
we're trying to lay low
dont wanna lose what i found

things are finally finally looking up
all my feet are on the ground
even though im stuck

but so what
im better off every day
when im standing in the pouring rain
i dont mind i think of you and
everythings all right

i used to think i had it good
but now i know that im mis-understood
you would say
im better off in every way" .....
"LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND" ..here...here i am again and i am starin at these
same four walls alone again
and now all the colors blend
and i'm growing up and i've become this empty page
hold on it's tragic stumblin through all this static

i just wanna talk to you my broken heart just has no use" ....
"UNDISCOVERED" ..All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
Don’t walk away"....

so i guess trhats good for now i hope you get what this means to me my friends sure dont
Current Mood: ecstatic
3:28pm: omg !!!! everything is comming apart!!!!
ok so tiffer told me this story on how he talked to this guy "LIKE BRYANT" not "BRYANT", "LIKE BRYANT" !!!!! and this guy was joking around with being bi so i was stupid told the story wrong to nathan and he told it wrong to of all people "BRYANT" !!! ahhhh sooo bryants of course mad calls crystel yells at her telling her "I" called him a "FAG" and i havent even talked to him, then also threatening ""TO BEAT TIFFER UP " ,TIFFER was mad at me and the enitre time I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON !!!!!!!!! sooo now i gotta try to figure everything out when i didnt even do much wrong but EVERYONE IS MAD AT ME AND DOESNT WANT TO TALK TO ME !!!! ahhhhh NO ONE IS LISTENING !!!!!!! i've written everyone notes,made phone calls and sent emails but no one will help me figure this out ahhhh none of my "SO_CALLED FRIENDS HAVE MY BACK EVEN THO IM ALWAYS THERE FOR THEM !!!!"
Current Mood: pissed off

1st August 2004

9:15pm: fill this out please with luff
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I lovable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
Current Mood: bitchy

21st July 2004

2:19pm: back from CIY
yay im back from CIY it was great next year i want all of you to come ith me i will put you in my pocket and make you go mwa hahahahahaha ahhh yes call me im lonely and bored
Current Mood: bored

5th July 2004

12:58pm: yay
ok this is my 10th entry and this is my livejournals 1 month anniversery ! yay
Current Mood: accomplished
12:54pm: more excitement
yay ok now im branching out im starting to become not only a singer but i songwriter . im excited because its a really good way to just get out emotions . i also write poems and expressions and soon im going to post them hear so ya !
Current Mood: hopeful
12:53pm: ciy
YAY I get to go to CiY IN 6 DAYS yay !!!
Current Mood: excited

29th June 2004

5:49pm: ahhhhh !!!!!!!!! the 3 rules period!!!!!!!!!!!
ok now i know dani "loves" daniel and daniel"loves" dani but i want to get along with him i really do but i have 3 rules and i promised we will get along !!!


DA RULES :
1) never say dani is innocent - because you both almost F***ed on the cot and she has never acted like this before

2) that your a man of god - because you both almost F***ed on the cot and when you try to get a point across you use F**K !!! and that doesnt help !

3) andthat you know more about her then me because- hahahahaha WHATEVER !!!! you have no idea nad get over it!!

thats it and i will get along with you i promise
--- and dani you need to KEEP your promises --------
much love and stuff ~~ ginny m.
Current Mood: laying it down
5:32pm: today sux,now last night !!!!!
hey everyone !!
im soooo bored summer school was ok but jenna and i gotinto a fight over retarded things and imm so tierd of me being the only one to tell her the truth im always blamed for making fun of her or hrting her feelings when she has no idea people feel worst then i do ! ahhhhhh again anyway but last night dani came and surprised me and pulled me out of bed to hang out outside andbe really loud me neighbors love us im telling you. lots of love on my street now . soo ya again i try to talk to dani and she is gone with daniel omg i have to got through the fbi to even say hi omg ! so annoying!!!!
soooo anyway i should be going over to danis house tomorrow if i could accutally talk to her but whatev !! SHE is being controled im telling you!! i have to talk to her im worried and she doesnt even know whats going on !! I while ago i talked to her and i told her that i need her im going thro shit and i need MY BEST FRIEND to talk to !! i need someone and to be honest im soo tierd of being put on HOLD !! I just need to be with her and talk to her and have her understand me like she used too !!!! Whatever later ~~ whoever cares!! thankx ! ginny
Current Mood: no one gets it !!!!

19th June 2004

6:46pm: today
hmmm dani spent the night last night we made a music video much fun. i watching zoolander and reading comments . dani is such a drama queen !~ Sorry i havent talked in a while ive been really busy ~~ I could use money if anyone would like to give me alot of money that would be nice i have to raise money to go on a CIY ( Chirst In Youth ) Conference soo ya !!! Summer School SUX ~~lATER
ginny
Current Mood: need money

13th June 2004

6:57pm:
How to make a swtascandy411
Ingredients:

5 parts pride

3 parts humour

3 parts leadership
Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of fitness and enjoy!
Current Mood: surprisingly true
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